The New Year is certainly underway! It never ceases to amaze me lately just how overwhelmed our life is!
I have found myself doing a lot of soul searching...pondering over and over about this "life journey" hubby and I are on! I always thought after his accident nearly 12 years ago that we had been dealt in life all the worst it would give...It was a miracle the man survived a two story fall landing him smack dab into concrete with a traumatic brain injury and multiple broken bones.
obviously not so!
Whoever would have thought I would get ill with Lyme Disease? Not me!
In the past 6 years since the Lyme "journey" began everything has been turned upside down. I have been forced to learn on my own much about so many different illnesses that I was told I had; yet did not!
The upside has been all the wonderful people our lives have been touched by. It is amazing that in this world so many have been so kind and caring. I often say that God allows us to experience his love and embrace through those he sends our way!
As the New Year approached hubby and I faced yet another fork in our road. His grand mall seizure that hit in November. Only to be told this last week that a tremendous amount of scar tissue in his brain is to be blamed.
My husband is so much of my world. I can't imagine life without him. When the neurologist informed us both this week that his seizures could take his life...well I went into emotional overload. Once again fear has set in and my nervous system is on guard. Constantly watching every move this poor man makes.
He is so loving and gentle this man of mine. Reassuring me constantly that when our time is up its up. He is OK with where he is at in life with this. My reply...I AM NOT!!
In the past 6 years on numerous occasions we have had to endure many different diagnosis with me that were life threatening...only to find out they were misdiagnoses! OK so Lyme is not the cream of the crop on diseases to have either!
For hubby there can be no denying the EEG and CAT Scan...The scare tissue is there in full view on his brain where he sustained his worst part of the fall.
How much bad luck can two people under the same roof have? I have done all the rationalization about this...i know we are good people. We help family out, neighbors, shoot we don't steal or cheat anyone... a friend said to me "Your hubby cheated death 12 years ago" There can be no denying he is the recipient of a Miracle!
I believe that we are not created for this world. We are created to be with our Lord Jesus...yet in my humanness I am not ready for either of us to part this world. I have a vision of us growing very old together. Yet I am quickly reminded that life is not on my terms. We don't get the final say.
God does.
Yet in my humanness I have been pleading...Please Lord...I so want to grow old together. OK so you might be shaking your head and saying "Karen, your husband isn't dead!" I know this. But when the neurologist turned and said these types of seizures are dangerous as they are violent and can provoke a heart attack...that he could die. That I have to call 911 immediately whenever he has seizure...Fear took over. I have been on high alert ever since!
Tonight I am calmer. I realize we all have a date. I could walk out the door tomorrow and be hit by car or some other freak accident. I also am reminded how precious each and every day together is. I so Love my husband. Did you know we are high school sweethearts?
No matter what journey your life has been put on...embrace today for all it is.
As this saying Goes LIVE EACH DAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST... I know I intend to... Lyme Disease, seizures and all!
A PERSONAL INVITE
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local friends, a lyme awareness evening is coming to tsawwassen, BC and you
are invited to attend! it is an evening that is designed to raise lyme
awarenes...
1 day ago
6 comments:
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your blog its a bless! from now on i will be around-Thanks
joao Bento(member patientsLikeMe)
Aveiro-Portugal
When my wife was at her worst point with her Lyme disease, our life was filled with horrible events over a 1 week period. My son flipped his car, my daughter was charged with dwi and my other daughter was carjacked at gunpoint. I wondered why we were forced to bear these burdens. It all evens out I guess, many wonderful things have happened to us since. Good luck to you and your husband.
Greetings to one and all: In that most precious name. That name which is above every name, the name: "Jesus"
There's tremendous power in that name. I'd suppose we'll never fully realize all that can truly be accomplished, by us simply calling out that name in true faith.
There's an old, old, gospel song that goes like this: Faith in the Father, faith in the Son, faith in the Holy Spirit, great victories are won. Demons will tremble and sinners will awake, faith in Jehovah will anything shake.
For you who have never come into this realization, if you're reading this, just give him a welcome into your heart and life. You will both feel and see an awesome difference. You will have also purchased the ticket to heaven (by accepting, therefore making him welcome to come into your life. You will also sup from His cup that contains living water. (As did the woman at the well of Bethesda.) John 4:10
Much love,
Your brother in Christ Jesus, who is both our Lord, and Savior.
www.eloquentbooks.com/BeyondTheGoldenSunsetAndByTheCrystalSea.html
http://www.eloquentbooks.com/OffToVisitTheProphetElijah
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is scary that is for sure. Fear is our worst advisary isn't it. Max Lucado wrote a book called "Fearless" that I am reading right now becuase I often have the unwelcome guest of fear come to visit. Just like you my husband is my rock and strength and I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to go through this along with Lyme. How blessed we are to have our Lord walk with us.
Joao Bento...thank you for your kind words and for dropping by! PLM I so love the group of folks from there!
Brewfunk...Thank you for your encouraging words and for sharing where you have been also! Gosh in one week you went through all that! Wow unbelievable! And I thought we had it rough!! I so look forward to calmer days ahead for us!!
William Dunigan...Thank you also for posting your reply! I so loved the gospel song you shared and it is so very, very true! We are so lucky to have the protection and love of the Lord!
God Bless!
Btrflynana
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