Butterfly Blanket and Back Rubs!

For me one of the most frustrating issues I face with my Lyme Disease is the Neuropathy. I know quite often I have blogged here about it. I have really been having quite a time with it for the past few months. Last night was the worst it has been for me in quite some time.

We had indulged in deep fried fish and prawns for dinner last night. I figured I was being not too terrible when I added brown rice to my plate instead of the french fries! I just love the ways I find to justify that it's OK to go off my eating plan! Within an hour after dinner my legs began to ache more than usual. Then it hit into my lower back. Before I knew it my arms were aching all the way to the bones as were my hands too!

Three hours later my face was numb and I was crying. The pain was so intense I could not control my emotions. I hate it when this happens. I hate it when this disease gets the better of me. I hate it when it nocks me off me feet and all I want to do is curl up in a chair with big pillows and my butterfly blanket. Yet at that moment it is those little comforts that console me.

I so love my butterfly blanket. My daughter purchased the material and her mother-in-law Pam made it for me. I wish I had several of them as it is so comfortable! The backing on it is this silky feeling; a fuzzy warm material. So often when I am wrapped up in my blanket I am filled with gratitude for the time and effort that went into making this beautiful soothing blanket! Its even better when I throw into the dryer and get it nice and warmed up!

I think it is so important when you have rough moments to have something that is soothing. I also love it when I am hurting and hubby will gently rub my back. His back rubs have such a calming effect. I do my best not to complain; however, around my hubby I am extremely open about my pain. Seldom does he complain about my complaining. What a gem he truely is!

Even though this battle is just that a battle; I find I have so much to be grateful for. So tonight I will retreat back to my chair with my butterfly blanket not far from my hubby. Vowing to never eat fried fish again!

Rejuvenated to Face the World!

Yesterday I called my LLMD's office. I could no longer tolerate another headache. I was going to bed with them and waking up with them.

I am so excited to report I woke up headache free this morning!! I am like a small child filled with laughter and hope! Rejuvenated to face the world and all it throws my way!

We decided I needed to stop the Tindamax. I will remain off of it for a week. See if I have no headaches. If no headaches I will start it again and only use it on the weekends. Three times a day.

I realize that this drug is so important in fighting the cyst part of Lyme. However, I don't know if my body can or will tolerate it yet again!

So tonight I sit and type this entry with a smile across my face, renewed hope in my heart and still at the front of the battle line!!!

The Turkey Is Gone!

The last few days have been unreal. I woke up yesterday feeling pretty good. I had set my sights on organizing our paperwork for our upcoming tax appointment. By early afternoon I had a headache which quickly turned into a humongous Migraine.

I suffered for years with migraines after our daughter Danielle was born. Due to an epidural that I believe wasn't done quite correctly...Left me with headaches like you would not believe! Migraines!

Recently the migraines have returned. With a vengeance! If you have never experienced a migraine it feels as if a sledge hammer has plummeted into your head. You are hypersensitive to every little noise around you. Even a whisper can be irritating! I swear sometimes I can feel my heart beating inside my head during one of these episodes!

Every ray of light makes seeing objects more difficult and sets off more buttons and whistles within your brain. The blurred and double vision issues are off the charts. Forget about getting anything accomplished at this point. Your done for now.

There are a few things I have found that bring a small amount of relief from the agony. Having my husband massage my shoulders is one. It seems lately when these migraine's hit my shoulders and back are spasmed to the max! I get huge knot's on my shoulders the size of a lemon. When hubby rubs them...Well all I can say is...LOOK OUT!! I am flinching, and crying. Its so painful. Begging him to stop yet enjoying the pain as it also brings relief within my brain. He carefully works on each muscle that he is able to find spasmed out. Did you know certain muscles run from your back up into your neck and the back of your head? Gosh when he rubs on one of those knots instantaneously the pain travels deep into my brain!

Putting a blanket into the drier and heating it up really good and hot and then wrapping myself in it helps to calm me. I learned quickly last night whatever you do don't try to make your bed! Just bending over will almost guarantee a mad dash to the restroom. The nausea is awful. Need I say more?

A nice hot shower helps also. Unfortunately all of these are short lived. I went to bed with my head pulsating and woke up to it not quite as bad. Yet still tender with a much lighter intensity of a headache.

Tonight I am pleased to report the turkey is gone! And I am being very nice calling it that. I could think of a lot worse profanity words to describe the ordeal.

I am not sure if it is the meds that are setting this off. It very well could be that the Tindamax is doing its job. Tindamax I believe is utilized to help fight the "cyst" part of my Lyme Disease issues. I think it is doing its job! Maybe its the reason for me headaches?

It could be those stupid little buggers inside of me the borellia's are putting up a fight to hold what they claim to be "their" ground. I imagine the battle field is nasty right now.

I am doing well on protocol. Taking my meds. Watching my diet. Getting more exercise and resting more than usual. LOL yeah these migraines leave me simply exhausted.

Yep, I don't have to imagine that there is a huge war going on inside of me at the moment! I am living it for sure! I hope the casualties are lots of borellia's dead! Indeed! I just hope I don't loose any brain cells during battle! SHHH! hubby will pop in and say I lost those ages ago!

Next step is to kick their scrawny little carcasses out! Now that's the tricky part! Hmm maybe that is why the migraines have arrived with such intensity! They have a word for it in the world of Lyme. Herxing...its definitely no fun. But when its over...you feel so much better. So much clearer. Temporarily. Until the next battle!

I am thankful tonight that my headache is very, very dull. That my vision is clear and my dinner has stayed where it was put; within me!

Hang in there my friends we will get through this war together!!

We All Have To Do It!!

Two days back on track and I am feeling stronger...emotionally that is! LOL

My body still feels as if the semi is permanently parked somewhere on it! I just can't see it; however, I know its there! I can feel it...I wake in the morning and do my best to first move all stiff joints. Then with my arm I do a sort of hop push-up to prop myself to a sitting position. I take mental stock of all body areas, take a deep breath and stand up...Well it's what I like to imagine standing up would look like! More so I am bent over, hunched backed. Then comes the hardest part. The all dreaded first step. I get bold and just do it. Unfortunately the foot drags and feels heavy as does the other one also. Funny I don't recall the unseen ball and chain hanging from my hips being there when I climbed into bed the night before! Nevertheless, I am off and running...or should I say off and shuffling! My day has begun!

I manage to get my clothes on...that in itself is a job. How I have not fallen yet doing this I don't know. Trust me if you can't lift your legs very well to walk you certainly have issues lifting them to put clothing on!!

As I painfully make each step descending to downstairs doing my best not to trip as Mandie our 7 month old Lab grabs at my feet. She needs to go out back since she has been sleeping all night! My feet still not moving the way they ought to. My body now feeling totally bruised inside and out. My favorite friend in the morning used to be decaf coffee. It now has become green tea with lemon. I never thought I would enjoy green tea as much as I do now.

Since hubby has been in a walking boot due to a tendon problem our "girls" Kona (our nearly 8 year old 85lb Golden Retriever/Shepard mix and Mandie she now 50lbs and still growing!) have become my responsibility. Between you and me...I so can't wait for his foot to heal! I hate having to take Kona out for her 5 am walk! Pain, Stiffness and Cold all wrapped up into the morning kick-off of being pulled does not make for pleasant teatime chat afterwards!

It's funny though I have to admit, that its true. God does have a way of closing one door and opening yet another. I have been so resistant to getting out and exercising. My LLMD has lectured me on this over and over. But it is so painful for me to move. I applaud all of you out there suffering with Lyme or other diseases that make moving painful and yet you do it faithfully. I pat you on the back. I hold you close in my heart.

Wonderful part is...You do it! You ought to be proud of yourself. Not too many folks understand what it is to get our day going and to keep it going!

By mid morning after I have taken my Neurontin and settled down I am moving much better. For me this medication has been a lifesaver! I am able to move so much better because of it. A year ago walking was way worse for me than what it is now! I am feeling more in control once again.

As my day went on I catnapped here and there. Yet I have survived another day! And I have stayed focused. In spite of my aches and pains I am ready to face tomorrow...What they heck I might even try to tackle the stationary bike we have! You never know.

I do know that Sunday sleeping in till 9 am was well heavenly! I never sleep that late! The rain is due to hit us once again starting tonight. It is expected to be here throughout the week. That should make for interesting viewing. Me soaked and waddling with dog in tow!

The point is we don't want to move. WE HAVE TO MOVE TO HEAL. It is just as important as our Meds, diet and let's not forget attitude! So Gang my advice for what it's worth...

GET UP, GET MOVING, TAKE YOUR MEDS, EAT WELL AND STAY MOTIVATED!!

We all have to do it! In the end...each and everyone of us will benefit! Battle on!!